One quality generally lacking in the music biz these days is a sense of humour; Train addresses that shortcoming in spades, particularly with their new release “50 Ways To Say Goodbye”. Watch the vid for this tune by scrolling down below, and if you can keep yourself from laughing out loud, you probably need some sort of adjustment. Train’s last big vid, “Drive By”, scored close to 38 million hits on YouTube, and this new one may just smash that sizeable achievement. Featuring a crack mariachi ensemble, the always-enjoyable and self-parodying David Hasselhoff, the vid is both entertaining and musically addicting, laden as it is with hooks, bombastic lies and self-deprecation – a sure formula for hitting ‘play again’ on the YouTube channel.

Here are the very clever lyrics to a slightly outrageous number, written by the “Drive By” team of Train’s vocalist Patrick Monahan, the Espionage writing team of Espen Lind and Amund Bjorklund and produced by the latter two along with Butch Walker:

“50 Ways To Say Goodbye”

My heart is paralyzed
My head was oversized
I’ll take the high road like I should
You said it’s meant to be
That it’s not you, it’s me
You’re leaving now for my own good

That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are I’m gonna say

She went down in an airplane
Fried getting suntanned
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes!
She met a shark under water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
And ways to say you died

My pride still feels the sting
You were my everything
Some day I’ll find a love like yours (a love like yours)
She’ll think I’m Superman
Not super minivan
How could you leave on Yom Kippur?

That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are I’m gonna say

She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes!
She dried up in the desert
Drowned in a hot tub
Danced to death at an east side night club
Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
And ways to say you died

I wanna live a thousand lives with you
I wanna be the one you’re dying to
Love…but you don’t want to

That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are I’m gonna say
That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are I’m gonna say

She went down in an airplane
Fried getting suntan
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes!
She met a shark under water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies

She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes!
She dried up in the desert
Drowned in a hot tub
Danced to death at an east side night club
Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
And ways to say you died.

Train will be playing Montreal on July 10th and Toronto on July 11th. Be sure to check out ticket availability, but in the meantime take a few hours out of your life to enjoy this (don’t say we didn’t warn you!).